Season One | Episode 4
Listen: Apple Podcast | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Anchor
There is so much going on in our world. It seems as if a light bulb has turned on for many people, a reckoning of sorts. The core of this podcast is for the empowerment of people to lean in with the opportunity they have to be an agent and a catalyst for changing the lives of people for generations to come. This support has to be in every way, not just when it is convenient for us. That is going to require a large helping of courage.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
In my mind, the catalyst for that movement of shrinking or expanding is the people around you and the relationships that you have with them over time. The act and ability to choose to push through fear to participate in an experience fully is a skill that we must learn how to get back. That's courage! Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens one.
Read on for additional notes from the episode!
If we observe some smaller kids, they seem to have this enormous amount of courage. They go flying off the couch, the monkey bars, they walk right up to someone, strike up a conversation, and start playing. But somewhere along the line, they encounter an experience (or many experiences) and begin to internalize what other people and how the world views them and things shift.
Self-talk can prevent the things that, at one time, you did without much thought. Like many other skills and mindsets, I believe courage ebbs and flows based on context (relationships, experiences, and your environment). In a way, the childlike courage loses its fervor. Our relationships with our kids have great power. The language we use with them to combat negative self-talk, the experiences we expose and provide for our kids, and the safe spaces of our home environments actually give courage back to our kids.
You make those deposits back into your kids because they will always spend what you put in and need more from you throughout their developmental years. After all, stuff will never stop happening to and around them.
Think about it... How is healthy is your child's internal courage account looking? Is it overdrawn by multiple pandemics at this point? Would you say they are thriving or just surviving? This concept makes me think about the moment you wonder if your card has enough in the account to pay for what you need at a store. Have you ever felt that moment of stress and anxiety? It's not fun! What if our kids are confronting moments that call for bravery and courage with that same level of anxiety because they don't know if they have what it takes to make it through that moment, not to mention being courageous? That's what we mean by surviving and thriving. I wonder if I can just make it through the moment instead of being able and willing to act with courage and stand up for what I believe in and value.
You are a contributor to someone's ability to be courageous. We learn self-confidence through other people that we trust. We have to take care of each other. That's the antidote to what we all biologically need to make it through and save us from ourselves even.
You are a contributor, not the editor, not the publisher. You expose your kids to the best you have, you protect them when needed, but they will go on and become who they need to fulfill their purpose. The whole point of raising a child is that they become productive adults that contribute to the world in their unique way.
Raising kids to push past their discomfort and ask more questions like,
"What can I better understand about your life and how it impacts you at this moment?" can be an action that moves the needle forward. It takes an enormous amount of courage to walk through life with that angle of empathy and understanding. You are left open and vulnerable to those that aren't willing to take the step to lean into that with you.
5 Tips For Building Courage In Kids
1. YOU MIGHT NOT BE READY | you won't always feel ready, and that is okay, sometimes brilliance peeks through in moments that you weren't expecting.
2. YOU MIGHT MESS THIS UP | You might mess this up, and that is okay… You would have never known if you never tried
3. CONSIDER OTHERS | Consider the world around you. How will it change? How will the people around you feel? These reflections are not meant to deter you from doing it, but self-centered acts tend not to make it very far. Being considerate of others can make for a stronger impact. Sometimes brave doesn't "act right"… You can acknowledge and encourage bravery and courage in your kids and tell them to check their tone and volume to be respectful of others. Both can be true and coexist.
4. LEAD BY EXAMPLE | This means that you model and share your inner thoughts when acting with courage. You might say, "Boy, oh boy, kids that was rough, I was nervous to say something, but I knew being courageous and brave by speaking up would help other people that may be feeling the same way.
5. ENCOURAGE QUESTIONS | You would be surprised how often a brave moment is on the other side of all those questions they are asking…questions are the warm-up for kids. They are feeling you out before they truly open up and share their thoughts and feelings. If you want kids to trust you and be open to talking to you, practice having a warm but neutral response to their questions.
Thanks for reading and listening! We will catch you in the next one!
You will find the Questions to Connections Worksheet for this episode here!
If you are new here, check out our Path to Meaningful Connections resource!